


in which karolina has a lot of emotions

by Echoe



Category: Sweet Elite (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, chapter 12 spoilers, i hate having to tag things, like this takes place directly after the end of chapter 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29262882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echoe/pseuds/Echoe
Summary: Being stuck in a car with Karolina for several hours, after how things ended last night, is less than ideal.But at least it gives you an opportunity to talk things out with her.If she's willing, that is.
Relationships: Karolina Nováková/Scholar
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	in which karolina has a lot of emotions

**Author's Note:**

> listen i KNOW it's not gonna resolve itself in the span on one car ride i KNOW it's gonna drag out all the way to the chalet WHICH MEANS i get to explore this in the meantime <3333

Karolina hates everything about this ride.  
She hates how long it is. (It's only been an hour, but that's already too much right now.)  
She hates how you're sitting right new to her. (She wanted time away from you to sort out her thoughts. This isn't helping.)  
And most importantly-  
She hates how it's making her feel.  
You being so close to her.  
She's been making a point to avoid looking at you most of the time (her neck hurts with how hard she's keeping her head turned away), but once or twice, she would glance at you, glance down at your hand-  
She remembers how it felt around hers.  
(She remembers how it felt on her hip, too, how her skin flared up, and it makes her ache to think about it.)  
She wants to feel it again.  
But she can't, or she shouldn't, at least, after what happened, you clearly don't have that kind of relationship-

It's almost unconsciously that her hand creeps towards yours.  
Thank god she catches herself before you notice.  
But she hates how badly she wants it.  
She hates how disappointed she feels.  
There's a pit in her stomach at the knowledge that she can't hold your hand.  
(She could, though, she could-  
But it wouldn't mean what she wants it to.)  
She digs her nails into her arms, turning back towards the window.  
She needs to stop thinking about this.  
(But is thinking about Neha practically in your arms, your lips just a few inches apart, really any better?  
She tells herself it is.  
It reminds her of why she's angry.)

It's only an hour and a half in the ride that you can't handle the suffocating atmosphere anymore.  
You have to do _something_.  
(It hurts you how she's making it clear she doesn't want to look at you.  
It hurts you to know that she probably doesn't want to be here with you at all.  
You don't want things to stay like this.)

"... Hey, can we talk?"

"Sure. What about?"

"About yesterday?"

You watch Karolina pause to examine her nails, looking almost bored already by the conversation.  
(But in truth she's steeling herself, making sure she doesn't let anything show.  
You don't get to know she's feeling hurt.)

"What is there to say?"

"Well, you seem mad since then-"

"I'm not mad."

"... You're upset, at least."

"I'm not. I told you there was nothing wrong, Anna."

You hate how detached she's sounding.  
Like she's built back up all her walls.  
She doesn't want you to know how she's feeling.

"But there _is_. You've barely talked to me or even _looked_ at me since the party," you sigh, gesturing at her, "you're not even looking at me right now."

As if on cue, she slowly turns her head towards you then, face completely neutral aside from a raised eyebrow.

"Well? I'm looking at you now."

"This isn't funny."

"I'm not trying to be."

You let out a frustrated groan.

"Look- this is about that mistletoe thing, right?"

For just a second, you see her eyebrow twitch.  
It's only a tiny crack in her mask, but it's enough for you to know that you're right.

"Why would it bother me? You're free to kiss whoever you want."

"I wasn't going to kiss her!"

"Sure."

"Karolina, I _know_ how this looked, trust me-"

"Like you were about to kiss her?"

" _Yes_ , but please believe me, I was _not_ about to kiss Neha."

Again, "Sure."

"It was our classmates, they were-"

"I don't want to hear it, Anna."

She's frowning now.  
That seems bad.

"I told you, I don't _care_ whether you were going to kiss Neha or not. That's not my problem."

"But- but if you don't care, then why are you acting like this?"

"I'm not acting like _anything_."

"That's _bullshit!"_ It startles you a bit how your voice rises and breaks on that word. (It startles her, too, her eyes widen a bit, but you're not paying attention.) "You're acting like you suddenly don't care about me at all! Like you don't want to be around me! Like you don't even _know_ me!"

"..."

"I just want to know _why!_ Is that so much to ask?"

You wanted to have a calm conversation.  
You didn't want to get upset.  
But it's so hard when she's acting like this.  
It's so hard when you were so close yesterday and now she's so cold and she won't tell you _why_.  
She won't even _acknowledge_ it.  
Like this is how you've always been.  
Like...  
Like there was never anything between you two.

"You want to know what's _wrong?"_

Her voice is trembling slightly.  
You feel like that should alarm you,  
but you're getting desperate.

_"Yes!"_

"What's _wrong_ ," her voice gets dangerously low, "is that I thought you _cared_." She chokes out that last word, almost sobbing. (She hates it, she was supposed to stay calm, composed, she wasn't supposed to tear up.)

"Wh-what?"

"I-" she takes a shaky inhale, "I thought you cared about me. I thought I was _important_ to you."

"You are-"

_"Don't."_

You stop to look at her properly.  
There's anger on her face.  
You expected it.  
What you didn't expect-  
Is how watery her eyes are.  
(It breaks your heart.)

"You said you wanted to be friends. You said you'd meet me halfway, you always- you always tried _so hard_ to get closer to me, despite everything, and you even- you even... I mean, you accepted my invitation to the party, and... the... the way you looked at me, I..."

She doesn't finish her sentence.  
"I thought you liked me," Karolina wants to say.  
But what if it was all in her head?  
She's not sure she can handle discovering that she imagined everything.  
But-  
But god, she really thought...  
She shakes her head, dropping that line of thoughts.

"I believed you. I really did. I thought that if you of all people liked me, then... then there must have been _something_ worth loving in me. But you...  
You didn't really care, did you?" She lets out a broken laugh. It's hard to laugh when you're crying. "I mean, why would you, with how I was with you- so was it just pity? Because you knew how hard it was for me to make friends? You thought you had a duty to become my friend? Is that it?"

You know that's not the case.  
You know you don't pity her.  
You do care about her.  
You do love her.  
But-  
But seeing her cry like this.  
Hearing the resignation in her voice.  
Realizing you made some of her insecurities resurface.  
It's all- it's all so much, you're having a hard time forming a coherent sentence.  
It's overwhelming you with emotion.  
God, why would she...  
Why would she even think any of that?  
Shit, you're crying.  
It doesn't stop Karolina, though, she can't see your tears through her own anyway.

"Know that I don't _need_ your pity, Anna. I don't need anyone to pretend to be my friend- or anything else." She blinks, staring down. "I don't know why you would even..."

(If you tried to befriend her out of pity, that's one thing.  
But you were flirting with her too.  
What...  
What was that all about, then?  
You're... you're not a bad person. She doesn't think you are.  
You wouldn't just... play with her feelings.  
Right?  
But the fact that you flirted with her... then of all people, you almost kissed Neha, her best friend...  
It's almost like you did it all on purpose.  
But that can't be the case. It can't.  
...  
Please.  
And- and god, what about Neha, then?  
She knows Karolina likes you.  
How could she just...  
No, no...  
Karolina doesn't want to think about it.)

"My point is- you can _stop_ now. Actually, you're _going_ to stop. I'm not letting you keep doing this."

(She's trying so, so hard to keep her harsh tone but it's so difficult when she just wants to bawl her eyes out.  
She likes you.  
She doesn't want you to leave her.  
She doesn't want to believe all of this-)  
The finality of her statement-  
It breaks something in you.  
Just, the idea of losing Karol, it-  
You hate it.

"I'm _not_ fucking stopping _anything!"_

"Wh-"

You are so fucking _done_.  
Loosening your seatbelt, you lean towards Karolina, grabbing her face with both hands.  
(She wishes her cheeks wouldn't betray her like this, immediately heating up.)

"You, Karolina Nováková, are a goddamn _idiot_."

_"E-Excuse me?"_

"You just- you just went and decided all of that without even letting me explain myself!"

"I-"

"I _wasn't_ going to kiss Neha that night! Neither of us wanted to!"

"That's not what it _looked_ like-"

"And I'm telling you that was a misunderstanding! Our classmates were trying to get us to kiss, they were crowding us and pushing us-"

"Why should I even believe you?!"

You bring your faces closer, looking her right in the eyes.

"Because I don't fucking want to kiss anyone but you, Karol!"

There's a beat of silence.  
Karolina's staring at you with wide eyes and you're so, so scared you've just fucked _everything_ up.  
(Of course you haven't.  
Do you have _any_ idea how hard her heart's beating right now?  
How warm hearing those words is making her feel?)  
But then she's crashing her lips into yours as if her life depends on it, and honestly, you wouldn't blame her, because yours does.  
(You absentmindedly note how salty the kiss feels, and you realize that you're both still crying.  
God, you're messes.)  
Her hands wind up in your hair, gripping it so hard it almost hurts, she's so desperate to keep you right there.  
(Do you know how badly she wanted to kiss you as you danced yesterday?  
Do you know how she wished she was the one who got caught under the mistletoe with you?)  
It's fine, though, you'll take it, anything to make her feel better, anything that'll help her finally believe that you don't want to be anywhere else but right here with her.  
(You can hardly breath, you should move away to let your lungs rest but you _don't_ , you won't stop until she's satisfied.)

When Karolina finally moves away, resting her forehead against yours, you're both panting and you're feeling dizzy with her, overwhelmed by everything she's making you feel.  
You watch her close her eyes while she catches her breath, and you decide to move a hand up to her hair, tangling your fingers in it.  
It's so soft.  
When she opens her eyes you smile and lean in for another kiss, softer, slower, that makes her sigh against your lips.  
She finally relaxes her hands, moving them down to wrap her arms around your neck.  
(She tries to pull you even closer, but your seatbelt stops her and you see her brows furrow before she decides to move closer to you instead, and it makes you chuckle.  
She's so cute.)  
You're the one who pulls away after some time, and when you do you can't help but get lost in her eyes, they're so vibrant with emotion, you almost feel like you're falling for her all over again.

"Do you believe me now?" you ask her softly.

She looks away, her face reddening.

"It'd be hard not to after this."

"Heh. Good."

Karolina leans back a bit, though keeping her arms loosely wrapped around your neck.

"Say, did you mean it?"

"Mh?"

"That you didn't want to kiss anyone but me."

Your eyes widen a bit, cheeks heating up.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I did."

She's quiet for a bit, examining your face, as if she's trying to make sure that you aren't lying to her.  
(She doesn't think you are, but you never know.)  
Then she nods with a smile, seemingly satisfied, and pulls you back in for a quick kiss before resting her head on your shoulder.

"Good."

You stay like that for some time, until you both decide that you're too uncomfortable because of your seatbelts, and so you sit back properly.  
This time, the ride continues in comfortable silence.  
This time, Karolina doesn't have to stop herself from grabbing your hand.  
Everything's ok.  
(In the driver's seat, a man sighs, thankful that it's finally over.)

**Author's Note:**

> i really wish i knew how to write kissing better i didnt do this justice  
> also im well aware that i probably made this a lot more dramatic than necessary but listen. listen. 1. karol telling us how shes working so hard in hope of being worth someone's time lives rent free in my brain that shit hurts 2. i had fun and thats what matters  
> also i might end up writing something else for chapter 12. might push my karol/neha/scholar agenda a lil. u never know. for now i wanna play dbd <3


End file.
